Let’s Start Here
Nobody bombed Russia on February 28th. No Russian ships are in the Strait of Hormuz. No Russian soldiers are dodging Iranian drones in the Gulf. ‘Ole Vlad hasn’t spent a single ruble on this war. And he doesn’t have to, because American citizens are spending it for him. Stay with me…
While the United States and Israel have been bombing Iran, and Iran has been retaliating across the Middle East, closing the Strait of Hormuz, striking Gulf infrastructure, and dragging the global economy toward a 1970s-style energy crisis, Russia has been sitting back and collecting. The EU Council President said in March: “So far, there is only one winner in this war — Russia.” That quote lasted about as long as a fart in the wind. Then we moved on to the next Trump threat and the next missile intercept, and nobody followed the money.
So, let’s follow the money, shall we?
The Windfall
Before February 28th, Western sanctions were finally working. Oil and gas revenues had dropped from 45% of Russia’s federal budget in 2021 to around 20% in 2025. The ruble was struggling. Bankruptcies in Russia rose 31% in 2025. The IMF was projecting GDP growth of less than 1% for 2026. Putin was cornered economically, if not militarily, and peace talks over Ukraine, however hollow, were at least happening. Then we bombed Iran because our President is a predictable toddler.
Brent crude spiked.
The Strait of Hormuz, through which roughly 20% of the world’s oil and gas flows, became a weapon. Gas prices in the United States hit $4.10 a gallon. And Russia, one of the few major oil exporters outside the conflict zone, became the world’s most convenient alternative supplier. Analysts estimate Russia could collect between $45 billion and $151 billion in additional budget revenues in 2026 alone. That money goes directly into financing the war in Ukraine. The corner Putin was backed into? Gone. Evaporated. Paid for by American consumers at the pump.
While all this was happening, the Trump administration reversed its own sanctions on Russian oil. Treasury Secretary Scott “bootlicker” Bessent issued waivers allowing countries to keep buying Russian crude. We were, simultaneously, bombing Iran and subsidizing Russia.
Two wars. One winner… and it’s not us at the top of the podium.
The Distraction
Money isn’t the only currency here. For four years, Ukraine has survived on Western attention. Military aid, political will, ammunition, air defense systems, and all of it requires the United States and Europe to stay focused on what Russia is doing to a sovereign country. That focus is now fucked. American military bandwidth, intelligence assets, and precision munitions are being consumed in the Middle East. The Patriot interceptors being used to defend Gulf states are interceptors that aren’t in Ukraine.
And Russia, that slick son-of-bitch, knows this. According to U.S. and Ukrainian officials, Russian satellites have been providing Iran with real-time data on American warships and aircraft, feeding targeting intelligence to the country we’re at war with. Ukrainian President Zelenskyy said Russian satellite imagery helped Iran identify and strike U.S. military installations in Qatar, Kuwait, and Saudi Arabia. Trump’s response when asked about it? He said Putin was “probably helping them a bit” and then fucking shrugged, like a man does when his buddy makes a rape joke and his friendship is more important than a woman’s dignity and safety.
He shrugged like the little puppet he is.
Russia is providing targeting assistance to a country that is actively striking American troops and Trump said it’s “understandable.” The same man who has threatened to let “a whole civilization die” apparently has no problem with his stated ally feeding coordinates to the people shooting at us.
Meanwhile, Ukraine, watching its Western support evaporate, has been forced to act unilaterally. Ukrainian drones have been striking Russian oil infrastructure on the Baltic coast, six hundred miles from Ukraine’s own border, trying to claw back Russia’s windfall on their own because no one else will do it. Zelenskyy has also deployed Ukrainian air defense specialists to help Gulf states fend off Iranian drones. Ukraine is fighting on two fronts, with diminishing support, while the country responsible for its survival is busy slobbering on Putin’s knob.
The Leverage
There’s a third layer to this. Russia is now in the position of broker. Putin has leverage over energy markets, leverage over Iran, leverage over Ukraine peace talks, and leverage over his puppet Trump — who needs oil prices to come down before the midterms, by the way. Chatham House analysts described Russia’s posture as “spectator, beneficiary, and player,” extracting maximum advantage without assuming proportional cost. The Kremlin reportedly dropped its planned budget cuts the moment oil prices spiked. Why negotiate when you’re winning?
Authoritarians who play a long game don’t need to fire the gun if they can just keep loading it while everyone else is distracted.
Putin watched the Iranian protests get crushed in January. He watched the U.S. launch a war that divided NATO, alienated Muslim-majority allies, inflated energy prices, strained American military capacity, and gave him a clean excuse to keep fighting in Ukraine. He didn’t plan this war. He didn’t have to. He just had to wait for us to do something reckless and as predictable as Trump is, we obliged.
The Question Nobody Is Asking
Every major news outlet is covering the Strait of Hormuz. Some are covering the food and fertilizer shortages that are quietly building toward a crisis that will hit poor countries first and hardest. A few are tracking the nuclear inspection collapse — the fact that Iran has now kicked out IAEA monitors, meaning we went to war to stop a nuclear Iran and may have produced exactly that. But almost nobody is writing the connective sentence that we are funding Russia’s war on Ukraine with our war on Iran.
It’s not a theory, guys. It’s happening.
The people who will pay for Ukraine’s potential collapse are the same people paying $4.10 a gallon. The people who will absorb the food price increases from sulfur and fertilizer disruptions are the same people who’ve been told this war is about freedom. The people whose sons and daughters are stationed at Al Udeid and Prince Sultan Air Base are the same people who don’t know that Russian satellites helped Iran find those bases. They deserve to know.
But Russia Isn’t the Only One Watching China is also watching… and calculating. While U.S. attention has been consumed by the Gulf, Beijing has been deploying a multifaceted strategy. Covert military support for Iran, military posturing toward Taiwan, and diplomatic maneuvering across the Indo-Pacific. “Winnie the Coup” Xi is not rushing. He’s positioning China as the adult in the room, a “global voice of sanity and stability” against what he called a “regression to the law of the jungle,” meeting with European and Asian leaders while Washington declares blockades and threatens civilizational annihilation. He’s positioning China as the next superpower when the U.S. collapses.
And it’s working. China has been intensifying grey zone operations against Taiwan with information warfare, and cutting undersea cables — actions that don’t immediately trigger U.S. response but steadily erode Taiwan’s defensive capabilities. The slow bleed. Death by a thousand cuts. The patient play. While we’re focused on the Strait of Hormuz, Beijing is focused on the Taiwan Strait.
Fuck! Then there’s North Korea! There was the fourth missile launch this month. The seventh of the year. The launches are aligning with global distraction cycles. North Korea is now synchronizing to these events. A South Korean presidential security adviser said the launches are a way of showing that, unlike Iran, North Korea has self-defense capabilities. They watched what happened to a country without a nuclear deterrent. They are making sure everyone notices the lesson. The thread that ties all of it together is, the ballistic missiles Iran has been firing at U.S. bases and Gulf targets are direct derivatives of North Korean designs. Pyongyang sold Iran the technology, built the factories, and has been sending engineers to maintain them. Russia is providing Iran with drones and satellite targeting data. China is providing diplomatic cover and covert support. These aren’t parallel stories. They’re one story.
We are not just fighting Iran. We are fighting a network and Trump’s dumbass walked us right into it.
The Scorecard So Far
Russia’s war chest is refilled. China is repositioning. North Korea is accelerating its nuclear program while the world looks away. Ukraine is fighting alone. And American consumers are paying $4.10 a gallon to fund all of it.
To everyone who voted for him, you own this. Every $4.10 gallon. Every tax dollar stolen from us to bomb children. Every Ukrainian body. Every person struggling to feed their families. Every Russian ruble. Yours.
To the politicians still genuflecting, your reckoning isn’t coming. It’s already here. You just haven’t felt it yet.
On behalf of regular, sane Americans and the rest of the world, fuck every single one of you.
So anyways… what the hell do we do with this information?
Bueller? Bueller? … Anyone?
Hopefully, it's the Series Finale for Megalomanical Dipshits In Government…
Not only did tRump lift sanctions on Russian oil, he lifted sanctions on Iranian oil. So we are at war with Iran while allowing them to enrich themselves to continue the war against us. All because we have the stupidest man on Earth as “leader”